I spent a most interesting Summer
With junkies, crackheads and whores
Fucktards, a psycho and criminals
Got a lifetime gift: herpes sores
He swore on his life that he’d miss me
And soon together we’d climb
Then he predictably vanished
As he returned to life with the slime
Of course he refused to admit it
But I saw how he changed
It follows a pattern I know well
This deadly and dangerous game
Apologies and excuses
Insincere promises and lies
“Hold on just a little bit little longer
I need you, My Sweet Alibi”
I protect all his dirty secrets
As I vowed to him that I would
Defending him, even lying
Knowing full well he’s up to no good
I worry my goddamned fool head off
Arrested? Hospital? Dead?
My heart breaking, no comfort in knowing
It’s going exactly as I said
I stood by him through his cruelty
And now I’m left hung out to dry
Yet I still have his back now
Left asking myself, “Seriously, why?”
A convenient conspirator
That’s all I am, this I know
When I’m no longer useful
He’ll finally tell me I should go
Or go ghost on me forever
With no explanation
Silently confirming the truth of
My assumptions and accusations
He looked into my eyes
Before our last goodbye kiss
Fool I am, I’d never imagined
He’d treat me like this
I watch in helpless horror
While he slides into Hell
Turning loved ones away
And slowly killing himself
He swears that I’m wrong in this
But I know that he’s lying
Yet I’ll still be here and loving him
It’s the least I can do since he’s dying
My tears and fears are unending
But he has nothing to say
The next time that I weep for him
He may be lying in his grave
Perhaps he once really loved me
But he loves his chosen life more
My heart and loyalty are nothing compared
To the company of junkies and whores
Lately I’ve been sorta struggling with “finding my voice” in this new gig at HeadBlade, primarily because I’ve been trying to keep the “tone” consistent with that of the guy who was previously in my position. Unsurprisingly, it hasn’t worked out all that well for me. Fact is, I’m not him… or even a “him” for that matter! I’m fortunate that the guys I work with, and even the HeadBlade customers and fans are nice enough to bear with me and answer my (often really dumb) questions. On the upside, my Bracket Challenge picks have provided quite a few people with a barrel of laughs!
So, I’ve gotta stop making things tough on myself, when no one else here is expecting me to be someone else! I’m me. Just Rox (please, in the name of all that’s good and proper, not “Roxy!” If I let you get away with it, you must be special). I’m a woman, though definitely not your typical one, due to some of my affinities (and even proclivities, hah!).
For instance, I love profanity. I can let loose with a blue streak of curses and vulgarities that would make a sailor blush. Unlike most women, I love the “C” word, too, although I’ll refrain from using it here in this blog. To me it’s not a denigration, put-down or otherwise “bad” word; it’s the essence of what women are! Personally, I believe it’s the seat of our power. But that’s a discussion for another post.
Since I was a kid, I’ve been a huge fan of fast cars, and most particularly American muscle cars from the 1960s and 1970s. Some people dream of fancy new luxury or sports cars, but if a giant pile of money suddenly dropped in my lap, I’d run right out and buy something like a 1972 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, 1970 Nova or 1969 Malibu SS. Screw it! Give me one of each! Yes, I’m partial to Chevys, but I’ve truly got nothing but love for ALL the old muscle cars. They’re just so beautiful.
Maybe I’m not a man, but oh my GAWD how I do love them! So I understand a lot about them that other women might not. And… I kinda think like one much of the time. I love guns, porn, tattoos, Harleys, bikers and heavy metal music. I have nothing but the deepest love, honor and respect for our men and women serving in the armed forces, and there’s a very special place in my heart for United States Marines (Semper Fi!), even though I lost my first love to the Corps way back when I was 18 (and the earth was still cooling, heh). I’m one lucky old broad though… we’ve come full circle. The old Devil Dog being as tenacious as he is, he cleared the hurdle of being rather technologically-challenged, found me on Facebook and is back in my life. This time, for good, dammit!
What made my attempts to keep the same tone of the “Voice of HeadBlade” from the previous guy to me most challenging for me is being – and writing like – a true sports fan… because as it’s defined, I don’t technically qualify. Cheering on the team you’ve got money on (even though you don’t know what the Hell you’re doing!), or thinking this or that team member, fighter, golfer, driver or sportsing dude of some type or another is so smokin’ hot I need to share him in my secret women’s Facebook group that exists solely for the purpose of objectifying, commenting upon the physical beauty of and drooling over various men, doesn’t actually count! In this, too, I have to express my appreciation for my oh-so-patient coworkers and HeadBladers for helping me out and letting me know which hot guys are chasing what kind of ball or beating up which other hot guy… and not teasing me TOO much about my vast ignorance, heh.
Politically, I’ve been characterized as a “flaming liberal” by some, but I’m more of a very-leftward-leaning libertarian (with a small “L,” because that party, like the Republican, has gone off the rails into Crazytown). Charity’s all well and good, but I don’t mind paying a little extra in taxes so that I might help my fellow human beings when they’re in need – I also don’t mind leaving the distribution of that assistance to the government. That’s what we hire those people to do; and they don’t require you to listen to a religious pitch to get help like some churches and other organizations might. I love the Constitution of the United States, and especially the First Amendment. It is what makes us free, and I am and always will be an advocate fighting for those whose protections are being violated.
When it comes to race, LGBTQ issues and marriage equality, I AM IN THE FRAY. I will fight til my dying breath to see that my minority, lesbian, gay, bi and trans* brothers and sisters are not denied the rights the rest of us have. Some of my dearest friends have been bullied, beaten down, berated, harassed and even disowned by their own families because of who they ARE, and it’s not right. I could die a happy woman if only the day would come when everyone – man, woman, straight, gay, black, white, yellow, brown, Christian, Muslim, atheist, liberal, conservative and anything else – enjoyed the same rights and privileges as everyone else. If we could be TRULY equal. I know we’ll never change the minds of bigots, but we need to keep having the public discussions anyway. At some point, all these old hetero white dudes will die off and more tolerant, less fucktarded people will win the day.
Being politically correct sucks sometimes; especially when you’re one of those funny types who’ll say anything for a laugh. I don’t use racial epithets or words & phrases that are really hurtful to people who’ve been oppressed or bullied, but I’m quite annoyed that there are people who insist I’m some kind of “ableist” with no empathy because I’m old school; I still use the word, “retard” as a noun sometimes and made-up variants like “fucktard.” I like that word, and sometimes, it’s exactly what someone is demonstrating themselves to be, and it just needs to be said.
So there it is. I love my job; and rather than continuing to beat myself up, trying to force myself into some mold and voice to live up to expectations I’ve created in my own head about who I “should” be or sound like, I’m just gonna relax and be who I really am and hope I’m not TOO offensive or “girly” (a word no one who knows me would use!) for the HeadBladers. Hopefully, they won’t hold it against me that they’re more likely to find me at the local car show than a fight or a ball game, or that I’d rather watch RuPaul’s Drag Race than NASCAR!
Yeah, I just couldn’t resist playing on that old saw, “It’s not less hair, it’s more head!” What can I say? My mind always goes straight into the gutter!
So… I just started working for HeadBlade and until now, I never noticed how many people shave their heads! Is it weird that every time I see a head-shaver, I want to ask, “What do you use to shave your head?” and if they don’t already know about it, tell them all the benefits of using a HeadBlade and our line of headcare products?
For several years now head-shaving has been a trend, with more and more athletes and celebrities rockin’ their slick domes – and looking damned sexy doing it. Marianne Schaberg at The Date Report even gives us 6 Reasons Bald Guys Make Better Boyfriends. Even some women are going for the shaved head look, as InStyle UK reported in a November, 2014 piece, “Is Shaving Your Head the Latest Celeb Beauty Trend?” — and they’re still beautiful!
It’s a beautiful thing when your employer values the same things you do. Recently, we’ve started the mobileStorm Library, which is and will be stocked with books that have inspired us or helped us become better at our jobs (or at life!). A few weeks ago the boss, Jared, posted on Yammer that he’d bought several copies of “Delivering Happiness,” by Zappos’ CEO, Tony Hsieh, and that it was required reading for those of us in Client Services.
That weekend I had no plans and was getting over a cold, so I figured I’d just relax over the weekend and read the book. It’s only 244 pages… I could’ve finished it in one day… but I actually savored it and took two days to finish it (then went back and reread a it a few chapters at a time, skipping around).
Today, I was happily surprised by a call from Jared to join him & Forrest at Tony’s stop at UCLA. We had an hour to get down there, so I grabbed the nearest – and newest – Trooper, Clifton and we jumped on the 405.
The GenX and Y kids inspire me, and Tony’s no different. At the tail end of my so-called career, I finally get it… and I work for and with people who totally get it too. It really does make a difference when you love what you do to put food on the table, and you’re surrounded by passionate and creative people.
I’ve always joked that my role in life is “the gatherer of the tribe.” I love people and I talk to most everyone I meet. Chances are, somewhere down the road I’ll find some way to put one and another of my friends or family together to serve some mutual need. I’m a facilitator, a nurse-y type (yes, I’ve done it), a typical woman who must always in some way, somehow be taking care of someone somewhere. 🙂 Who better to provide Legendary Customer Service?
So, imagine how happy I am that I make my living helping all sorts of people simply by having a relationship with them, and doing tasks that utilize skills I’ve acquired and at the same time require me to learn new things every single day!
It’s for the good of the tribe, it’s a philosophy… you could even say a purpose. Everyone’s supposed to have one of those, right? 🙂
As for me and my house, we will serve humanity
This is a bit of old research, but of course it comes up (haha) often and makes the rounds of the social networks in reposts, like it did last night on Facebook. The first study posited that fellatio may significantly decrease the chance of breast cancer in women, and a friend followed up and sent me Judy Skatssoon’s piece.
I can’t seem to find the original article on News.com.au, so I’m reposting here with a link to the Judy’s Twitter.
Fellatio ‘may prevent cancer’ – benefits for both partners
By Judy Skatssoon
July 16, 2003
An Australian study has found that receiving oral sex can protect men against prostate cancer in later life.
A team led by Professor Graham Giles, head of cancer epidemiology at the Cancer Council Victoria, questioned more than 2000 men about their past sexual habits as part of a wider prostate cancer study.
The men, half of whom had prostate cancer, were aged between 30 and 69 and recruited from Sydney, Melbourne and Perth between 1994-98.
The study indicated that men who received oral sex more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer.
The study further indicated that the women who consumed the ejaculate were 10 times less likely to develop cancers of the gums, tongue, esophagus, stomach and intestines. It also noted that the ejaculate improved complexion and increased the female consumers metabolism.
“What we found was men who recieved oral sex most in their twenties, thirties and forties had about a third less prostate cancer risk than men in the lowest category of ejaculation,” Professor Giles told AAP.
“The men who were the high performers in terms of receiving oral sex had a third less prostate cancer risk than men who were in the lowest category of receivers.”
He said one explanation for the apparent beneficial effects of being pleasured was that frequent ejaculation prevented semen from building up in the ducts, where it could potentially become carcinogenic.
“For seminal fluid to be made it has to be concentrated about 600 times,” Prof Giles said.
“So semen is a very potent and strong brew of lots of chemicals which, because of their biological reactivity, could be carcinogenic if left to lie around. However, when semen is digested it has chemicals which stimulate hormones in the female body causing tightening of the skin, enlarging of the breasts and some tri-collagen di-glycerides that stimulate the metabolism”
The research is set to appear in the British Journal of Urology this weekend.
Prof Giles said the prostate may have more similarities with the breast than previously thought – particularly in relation to the development of cancer.
He said the prostate was a secretory organ like the breast, which produced milk, only it produced semen.
The researchers reasoned that just as breast feeding lowered a woman’s risk of breast cancer, maybe liberal ejaculation could have the same beneficial effects for men.
Receiving oral sex daily could also have the same positive effect on a young prostate gland as pregnancy had on breasts, Prof Giles said.
“It might be rather like a first full-term pregnancy forces the breast tissue to fully differentiate and become grown up cells,” he said.
“Maybe intense sexual ejaculation (that found when receiving oral stimulation) at the time when the prostate has finished growing to maturity might actually help it bed down and become a fully developed gland, rather than having too many cells lying around in it.”
Prof Giles said previous reports had found an increased risk of prostate cancer among prisoners and Roman Catholic priests, while other studies suggested that having large numbers of female partners may be a factor.
However, while the Cancer Council study found benefits from receiving oral sex, it was unable to replicate the evidence about lots of sex with lots of women.
“In our study we found an effect for receiving oral sex and we did find an effect for the number of female partners,” he said.
Prof Giles said the study may have implications for prostate cancer patients who grew up at a time when the practice was frowned upon.
He said the findings of the study needed to be repeated by other researchers before they could be confidently claimed to be true. But noted that with 2000 test studies and years of data collection increased the likelyhood that the New England Journal of Medicine would publish an official study with the benefits of females giving oral sex to their male partners.
Now that’s all very interesting (and makes a lot of sense to anyone who’s taken the time to learn about human biological processes), and anything that decreases the risk of cancer should be enthusiastically embraced. However, with only anecdotal evidence obtained over the past 30-something years of my own observations and research, I’ll still say (with some authority) that there are positive physical and psychological benefits to both the giver and receiver of fellatio that have absolutely nothing to do with cancer… and hell of a lot to do with pair-bonding.
Oh, and gentlemen: It should be noted that some of you are more talented than others at being on the receiving end of those “blessings” too. You’d be surprised how much better it is for the giver when you’re fully engaged, and good at gettin’ it!