Posts Tagged ‘shaved’

This Is Me. Just Rox.

Rox @ HeadBladeLately I’ve been sorta struggling with “finding my voice” in this new gig at HeadBlade, primarily because I’ve been trying to keep the “tone” consistent with that of the guy who was previously in my position. Unsurprisingly, it hasn’t worked out all that well for me. Fact is, I’m not him… or even a “him” for that matter! I’m fortunate that the guys I work with, and even the HeadBlade customers and fans are nice enough to bear with me and answer my (often really dumb) questions. On the upside, my Bracket Challenge picks have provided quite a few people with a barrel of laughs!

So, I’ve gotta stop making things tough on myself, when no one else here is expecting me to be someone else! I’m me. Just Rox (please, in the name of all that’s good and proper, not “Roxy!” If I let you get away with it, you must be special). I’m a woman, though definitely not your typical one, due to some of my affinities (and even proclivities, hah!).

For instance, I love profanity. I can let loose with a blue streak of curses and vulgarities that would make a sailor blush. Unlike most women, I love the “C” word, too, although I’ll refrain from using it here in this blog. To me it’s not a denigration, put-down or otherwise “bad” word; it’s the essence of what women are! Personally, I believe it’s the seat of our power. But that’s a discussion for another post.

Since I was a kid, I’ve been a huge fan of fast cars, and most particularly American muscle cars from the 1960s and 1970s. Some people dream of fancy new luxury or sports cars, but if a giant pile of money suddenly dropped in my lap, I’d run right out and buy something like a 1972 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, 1970 Nova or 1969 Malibu SS. Screw it! Give me one of each! Yes, I’m partial to Chevys, but I’ve truly got nothing but love for ALL the old muscle cars. They’re just so beautiful.

Maybe I’m not a man, but oh my GAWD how I do love them! So I understand a lot about them that other women might not. And… I kinda think like one much of the time. I love guns, porn, tattoos, Harleys, bikers and heavy metal music. I have nothing but the deepest love, honor and respect for our men and women serving in the armed forces, and there’s a very special place in my heart for United States Marines (Semper Fi!), even though I lost my first love to the Corps way back when I was 18 (and the earth was still cooling, heh). I’m one lucky old broad though… we’ve come full circle. The old Devil Dog being as tenacious as he is, he cleared the hurdle of being rather technologically-challenged, found me on Facebook and is back in my life. This time, for good, dammit!

What made my attempts to keep the same tone of the “Voice of HeadBlade” from the previous guy to me most challenging for me is being – and writing like – a true sports fan… because as it’s defined, I don’t technically qualify. Cheering on the team you’ve got money on (even though you don’t know what the Hell you’re doing!), or thinking this or that team member, fighter, golfer, driver or sportsing dude of some type or another is so smokin’ hot I need to share him in my secret women’s Facebook group that exists solely for the purpose of objectifying, commenting upon the physical beauty of and drooling over various men, doesn’t actually count! In this, too, I have to express my appreciation for my oh-so-patient coworkers and HeadBladers for helping me out and letting me know which hot guys are chasing what kind of ball or beating up which other hot guy… and not teasing me TOO much about my vast ignorance, heh.

Politically, I’ve been characterized as a “flaming liberal” by some, but I’m more of a very-leftward-leaning libertarian (with a small “L,” because that party, like the Republican, has gone off the rails into Crazytown). Charity’s all well and good, but I don’t mind paying a little extra in taxes so that I might help my fellow human beings when they’re in need – I also don’t mind leaving the distribution of that assistance to the government. That’s what we hire those people to do; and they don’t require you to listen to a religious pitch to get help like some churches and other organizations might. I love the Constitution of the United States, and especially the First Amendment. It is what makes us free, and I am and always will be an advocate fighting for those whose protections are being violated.

When it comes to race, LGBTQ issues and marriage equality, I AM IN THE FRAY. I will fight til my dying breath to see that my minority, lesbian, gay, bi and trans* brothers and sisters are not denied the rights the rest of us have. Some of my dearest friends have been bullied, beaten down, berated, harassed and even disowned by their own families because of who they ARE, and it’s not right. I could die a happy woman if only the day would come when everyone – man, woman, straight, gay, black, white, yellow, brown, Christian, Muslim, atheist, liberal, conservative and anything else – enjoyed the same rights and privileges as everyone else. If we could be TRULY equal. I know we’ll never change the minds of bigots, but we need to keep having the public discussions anyway. At some point, all these old hetero white dudes will die off and more tolerant, less fucktarded people will win the day.

Being politically correct sucks sometimes; especially when you’re one of those funny types who’ll say anything for a laugh. I don’t use racial epithets or words & phrases that are really hurtful to people who’ve been oppressed or bullied, but I’m quite annoyed that there are people who insist I’m some kind of “ableist” with no empathy because I’m old school; I still use the word, “retard” as a noun sometimes and made-up variants like “fucktard.” I like that word, and sometimes, it’s exactly what someone is demonstrating themselves to be, and it just needs to be said.

So there it is. I love my job; and rather than continuing to beat myself up, trying to force myself into some mold and voice to live up to expectations I’ve created in my own head about who I “should” be or sound like, I’m just gonna relax and be who I really am and hope I’m not TOO offensive or “girly” (a word no one who knows me would use!) for the HeadBladers. Hopefully, they won’t hold it against me that they’re more likely to find me at the local car show than a fight or a ball game, or that I’d rather watch RuPaul’s Drag Race than NASCAR!